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10 November 2013 @ 04:41 pm
Is anyone still out there??  
So, I realized today that it's been about five months since I posted anything here on LJ *headdesk*

Shortly after my last post in June, I had a sort of breakdown and spent most of the month of July off of work for medical leave.  I don't want to go into full detail but I went through ten days in a partial hospitalization program for depression and anxiety.  I was given a choice between in-patient care or doing the partial program, which allowed me to go home for nights and weekends.  for the most part, though, I spent those ten days on a locked ward going through a very intense therapy program.  I'm feeling a whole lot better now and have been working on getting life, home and work re-organized using the tools I learned in the partial program.

Anyway, some of you may have noticed that I have a new banner here on my journal.  Sadly, that's how I currently feel about several fanfic stories that I've started and not finished.  I know I've been promising new fic for quite awhile now, but I have to be honest and say, if I do get back to writing fanfic, it's not going to be anytime soon.  I've really tried to write on the stories that I have started but I'm just not feeling it the way I used to, if that makes sense.

That doesn't mean that I haven't been writing, however!  I have actually been working on an original story that I got the idea for while on a camping trip this summer.  So far it's going pretty well.  I've been doing a lot of research for it and am hoping that maybe I'll be able to get it published - maybe.

Well, that's my update for now.  How've you all been?
My State of Mind: cheerfulcheerful
What's on endless repeat in my head: NFL on CBS
thrace_adams: Being Human Annie Smilethrace_adams on November 11th, 2013 01:08 am (UTC)
*glomps* OMG I had no idea :(((( I'm glad you're doing better. *HUGS*

Fanfic - I know exactly what you mean!!! It's part of why that whole Torchwood CYOA hasn't really moved /o\ I'm just not feeling it - it's SO HARD to write in Torchwood and BSG and the Adam fandom - and yet I have things to write in two out of the three of them and it's like pulling teeth :( So I totally get what you're saying.

Good luck on your original stuff!!! I can't wait to read it :D
bookwrm89bookwrm89 on November 11th, 2013 01:22 am (UTC)
***HUGS*** Thanks, I'm glad I'm feeling better, too. I scared myself more than a little bit this summer.

I still read fic, although not much Torchwood anymore, but I just can't write it. I'll get an idea for a story and start to write it but then I'll find myself thinking 'what's the point?' Tosh, Owen & Ianto are dead. Amy and Rory are stuck in the past and slowly living out their lives. Arthur is dead and Merlin is off doing whatever. Any new fandoms that I've picked up I just can't get into shipping any of the show pairings. And the only one I can get into (Supernatural), the only pairing I really like has to be RPF because I can't stand Wincest LOL
Oh well, at least my original stuff is still slash :)
thrace_adams: Teen Wolf Derek Orly lookthrace_adams on November 11th, 2013 01:44 pm (UTC)
OH damn Geri, ARGH I wish I'd know *more hugs*

I mostly don't read Torchwood because none of my favorite writers are writing it anymore LOL. Yeah the whole COE massively killed any muse I have for Torchwood, the only two things I've written since were crack pieces kind of like Wreck-It-Ralph for fandom? LOL.

Ahhh yeah, Wincest - I can't get behind that pairing but to each their own you know? LOL.

YAY for original and here's hoping you eventually find a new fandom.
bookwrm89bookwrm89 on November 12th, 2013 02:27 am (UTC)
LOL yeah, the Wincest is just ewww....but I really like Jared/Jensen AU RPF (mainly where they aren't the Supernatural actors Jared & Jensen, just random guys - or werewolves.)
reddevilpoesreddevilpoes on November 11th, 2013 07:04 am (UTC)
(((HUGS))) Glad to read you are on the right road.
I can understand your views on fanfiction. I mostly read Supernatural now and a spot of Sherlock (only one writer)
Hope you get a lot of satisfaction from your original stuff!

bookwrm89bookwrm89 on November 12th, 2013 02:34 am (UTC)
I've been mainly reading Supernatural fanfic also - but only Jared/Jensen RPF (where they aren't actors on Supernatural). I tried reading Dean/Cas but it just doesn't grab my attention.
choccy_grl on November 11th, 2013 07:17 am (UTC)
Hey. Wow, that's not good but at least you've got yourself into a better state of mind now.

I totally get the fanfic thing. I still have stories I never finished (some I never even started, nothing more than handwritten notes) but I don't think I'll ever get back to them. I still love my slash pairings but the desire to write about them has ebbed. I still read ff, not TW so much. There are still Merlin stories out there I want to read but most of them are Modern AUs. My ff of choice atm is Derek/Stiles from Teenwolf (and I've never seen the show. Someone who shall remain nameless is to blame *glances upward at thrace*).

Good luck with that original fic.
thrace_adams: Teen Wolf Sterek She Has My Dadthrace_adams on November 11th, 2013 01:45 pm (UTC)
I"m standing right here... ;p

choccy_grl on November 13th, 2013 11:00 pm (UTC)
You are a VERY bad enabler ;)
thrace_adams: Teen Wolf Allison Isaacthrace_adams on November 14th, 2013 01:16 am (UTC)
*snort* You're one to talk :D Hey how's Under The Radar coming?
choccy_grl on November 14th, 2013 11:23 pm (UTC)
Me? *cough-I saw you reblogged some Merlin stuff on tumblr-splutter* Sweet and innocent, that's me.

That title is definitely growing on me. It's coming, I owe you a thank you for that, will email you when I get a moment. Still need to do the synopsis though, and it's a long manuscript and I keep finding things to tweak, like finding a reason for those two hour night shifts... Anyway more of that in the email, which I'll try to do at the weekend, and not hijacking bookwrms lj.
thrace_adams: Agents of SHIELD Agent Maythrace_adams on November 15th, 2013 01:36 am (UTC)
*chortle* well duh, I'm always gonna reblog pretty boys :D

OK, will look for your e-mail :D
bookwrm89bookwrm89 on November 12th, 2013 02:48 am (UTC)
Yeah, I'm glad that I was able to do the hospital program before I did something irreversible & stupid. Which, yeah, there were serious thoughts about that.

I still like to read TW & Merlin fic - but it's mainly re-reading stuff I have saved, rather than looking for new. I've been watching the new version of The Tomorrow People on television and there are possible pairings there but nothing strong enough to look for fic, you know?

Thanks for the wishes of luck! I'm actually attempting to do NaNo this month. I started out strong - almost 7,000 words in two days - but got a migraine last week and wrote absolutely nothing LOL Oh well, back at it now!
**HUGS** It was good to hear from you!
adira_tamadira_tam on November 11th, 2013 08:17 am (UTC)
huge hugs for you.....I can so understand where you are at and where you have been...
for me it was 4 years ago , am going brilliantly now, but I found reading was so hard, let alone writing ( I write poetry)
sending warm thoughts to you from downunder
bookwrm89bookwrm89 on November 12th, 2013 02:48 am (UTC)
Thank you *HUGS*
Alexiel: stellarshinya_diey on November 11th, 2013 09:46 am (UTC)
*hugs* Think about yourself first and about everything else second, will deal ^^

About me, some thing could be better, but a lot of thing could be much worse, so I'm happy with what I have.

Take care of yourself.
idamusidamus on November 11th, 2013 08:50 pm (UTC)
Well damned :(

*Hugs* glad you're better now, hope you'll keep getting better.

As for me, I OK now is the short answer, the long one is in my journal.
alba: Blue handsalba17 on November 12th, 2013 03:29 pm (UTC)
Oh sweetie! I'm so sorry. But I'm glad you're feeling better now. That's so great that you're writing original fic. I'm not feeling very inspired re: fan fic either.
Stacey: janto side by sidegeekslave on November 15th, 2013 07:14 am (UTC)
So sorry about what you've been going through. Glad things are getting better.

Good luck with your original fic.